1. You leave all your dignity in the delivery room. Any you had leftover is left in the recovery room.
But what surprised me the most was how little I cared. I know, I know, everyone tells you that you don’t care when you’re in labor, but still – it surprised me. Although it was nice that with the exception of John, all the medical personnel in the labor and delivery room with me were all female. And when you’re in recovery and you have no feeling in your legs from giving yourself an extra dose of epidural right there at the end when you’re getting stitches – you need help doing most things. Like going to the bathroom. And you just have to get over it.
2. You will endure levels of sleep deprivation that you didn’t know existed.
Since I labored from 4:30pm Tuesday to 7:20am Wednesday, there was no sleeping that night. And then there was no sleeping for most of that day, getting moved over to the recovery room, having your postpartum life explained to you, signing papers, holding the baby, trying to feed the baby, and stressing over the fact that you haven’t a clue what you are doing. For almost 48 hours I was running on only about 45 minutes of sleep. Yikes. Poor John ended up getting really nauseous as a result of the lack of sleep and the crazy schedule. Our second night at the hospital was very rough on both of us and at about 5 in the morning when John was trying to change a poopy diaper, he threw up. Then as I try to finish changing the diaper, Nathan spits up and is choking on mucus. I had way too many people throwing up on me! I made John call the nurse when he was finished. I needed some extra hands, especially as I was still having difficulty standing and walking. I then did what made the most sense: I called my Mom, who dropped everything to come back up (she had been there during the previous day) to Maryland and help us out during the day, so we could get some sleep. We sent John home for several hours so he could take a nap ;)
3. Even when you only pack the bare minimum, you might still over pack.
I had toiletries, a robe, and going home outfits for me and baby. Plus a notebook, my laptop, and chargers and a few other things (like my pillow). And it all fit in one bag. I hardly used any of it. I was too busy figuring out how to take care of my baby and trying to sleep to take the time to shower or brush my teeth. (I know, gross, sorry) But that’s how it ended up going for me. Maybe if I’d regained feeling in my legs sooner I might have kept up with it better, but when we got home and I took a shower for the first time since Tuesday, I felt like a new woman. Ahhhh…
4. Murphy’s Law runs rampant at the hospital.
I can only imagine how this will continue to apply as a parent ;) But seriously, as soon as you get the baby down to sleep and you try to get some rest, 20 people will come knocking at your door to give you pain meds, to have you sign consents, to take your vitals, to check on your progress with breastfeeding, to take the baby away to run tests or do a physical, to push on your stomach to make sure your uterus is shrinking like it’s supposed to…you get the idea. And they all leave saying something like “get some rest!” Yeah, thanks. I’ll get about 2 minutes until the next person comes banging at my door, just like I got 2 minutes before you showed up…
5. Don’t say no to the cookie lady.
I don’t know if every hospital has a cookie lady, but Howard County General Hospital does. And really, she was the only person from the hospital staff that I looked forward to seeing ;) She made her rounds to the maternal child unit every weekday at 2:30pm. She was the cutest little Asian lady and her cookies were pretty dang good. Warm even. Yum.
6. Everyone (and I mean everyone) has their own professional medical opinion. On everything. And no two opinions are alike.
And this caused me a lot of stress. Urg. Because of course I want to do what’s best for my baby and those first days were difficult. I had no idea what I was doing, my baby was having a really hard time latching for feeding and trying to nurse was the single most stressful thing for me during recovery. All hormonal breakdowns (and I had about one a day) revolved around my efforts to breastfeed. So of course every nurse and lactation consultant had something to say about it and I got a lot of contradicting opinions. What’s a new mom to do?! By my last day, I was finally feeling confident enough to make my own decisions, and my mom gave me the best advice: “Everyone is going to have their own opinion. But he’s your baby – take what you need from all the advice and do what you need to do” Which leads me to the last thing I learned:
7. Most importantly: John and I know our baby better than anyone else.
It took me until my last day at the hospital before I really felt confident that I really did know my baby better than the doctors, the nurses, and the lactation consultants. But once I did, it was quite liberating. Having a little bit more sleep certainly helps with that. ;) And sometimes your plans for your baby change a little bit. Example: I was not going to give Nathan a pacifier until he was at least 4 weeks old. Because, you know, according to the experts you run the risk of nipple confusion and your baby will have difficulty taking the breast to feed and blah blah blah…And so I was going to wait until 4 weeks. But after Nathan would feed and he had fed long enough to be full (we’re talking longer than 15 minutes on both sides – his stomach was the size of a walnut at this point. He’s full), he’d still smack his lips and root as though he was still hungry. After agonizing over the decision for a couple of hours, I gave him a pacifier after his next feeding. And he was perfectly happy with it, and continues to feed normally. He’s gaining weight and filling his diapers like a normal healthy baby who is getting enough to eat. Turns out he just likes something in his mouth. Of course, I should have taken it out when the lactation consultant came in – I got an earful about it. Whoops ;)
And now, pictures
2 comments:
Oh, he is so so precious! And I hear ya about the hospital stay. I remember that there was one point where Tyler told the nurses and cleaning crews and whoever else was coming in to just stop so that I could get some uninterrupted rest. (You know, like maybe an hour or two.)
And being in the hospital was just as hard on Tyler as it was on me. He started getting sick from the lack of sleep, too.
Getting home from the hospital has its own set of challenges, but (we felt like) we were finally able to get a little rest once we got there.
And again, congratulations!! Nathan is so so cute. And you guys as a family are adorable. Tyler and I are so excited for you guys!
Congratulations!!! You guys are such a cute family - we're glad that Nathan arrived safely and smoothly. Great job, Ashley!
The postpartum time can be crazy - hormones + major sleep deprivation + learning parent + learning baby = lots of ups and downs and adjustments. Get through each day and the weeks will start to go more quickly. It's true too - get all the advice you can so you can feel out what resonates with your situation, but be prepared to ignore a lot of it =).
Remember Nathan's learning and you are learning and that one bad nap/feeding/crying/day isn't going to mess up his entire life. I remember one nurse making me feel like I'd failed at nursing after a rough latching day at the hospital (even though she probably meant nothing of the sort). You'll get it better next time and the most important thing is that you love him and are doing your best. You and John will be great parents!
Enjoy the newborn phase perks - the scrunched legs, tiny features, changing facial expressions, the scent of his neck, the cuddles, the weird poses, the rocking. The other stuff (crying, little sleep, blowout laundry, spit-up, etc.) will pass, don't worry!
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